For the Love of Poetry

Confession #1:  I do not like being judged.

Confession #2: Being the center of attention/being watched kind of freaks me out a little.

Confession #3: I have and still do at times fear success.

Whew! I said it! Now with that being said, I have come to realize that I have been blessed with gifts and talents that will and have put me in those three categories often; the gifts being my love of writing poetry and music. I remember growing up and people; family included would always tell me to shut up. If I had a question, people would out talk me. When I had a comment, the volume of conversations got louder, or people would say. “You don’t know what you’re talking about;” or my personal favorite, “girl you ain’t talking about nothing.”  The fire that was burning inside was slowly being put out. The confidence that was naturally there was diminishing with every negative word shot my way and yet I picked up a pen, grabbed some paper and began to write. Fast forward 10+ years and now you have me reciting the very words that no one cared to hear about when they were truly relevant to me. Funny thing I’m learning about poetry, songs and words in general is regardless of the time they were written, if it is real, true and coming from the heart, it will bring life and remain relevant to whomever, whenever it is heard or read.

I started sharing my poetry as a joke really. I have to remember the saying that everything happens for a reason. A friend of mine says, “There are no coincidences in life.” So maybe the joke/fluke was a setup. There was a contest at church, I entered, read the piece, performed and won. There was little positive feedback and a mountain of negative comments. One contest turned into two. Then someone asked me to write something and read it at their program. My uneasiness intact, I obliged. I hated being in the front of the room, I feel like my words are personal and an extension of me; therefore if I become transparent enough to share and the reception is anything less than genuinely positive (you can feel fake encouragement/accolades), then I would be crushed. Because you see I took rejecting my words as rejecting me. These random requests helped rebuild my confidence and fed my desire to write. I still didn’t like being the center of attention, which performing feels like. I still didn’t like being and feeling judged, and success seemed so big that it was still scary. The alternative to consistently granting these request for me would have been to continue to be silenced, stifling my growth as a writer and a person, and not fulfilling the one purpose I know that is mine which is to encourage others, to let them know they are not alone and are loved, and they can and will make it.

The turning point to me using and sharing my love of poetry, music and writing came about 4 years ago. I was helping some friends start their church Living Oasis. This wasn’t a traditional church either. The services started at 2:30pm, most of the things done in a Sunday morning services did not exist and there was freedom to serve, praise, and worship God like no other. Well there was a section of the service called,”Oasis on Tap.” The founders wanted the people to be able to express themselves and truly use the gifts God had given them, that may not particularly be recognized in the traditional church. Once again I was asked to prepare to recite some poetry, which I did. Word travels fast! This snowballed into me being asked to write for specific occasions at my church since we were considered sister churches. Well I was missing my brother one day and literally sat and wrote a rap in like 20 minutes. That was his and my connection when he was living, rap. I decided to try it out at “Oasis on Tap.” I was scared, nervous, excited, and had adrenaline shooting all over my body. And to my surprise it was received well! So much so that the praise team hemmed me up so many times I stopped counting to remix church songs by adding raps to them. It was fun and quite the experience. This helped me to see that not all people take the gifts, me, or opportunities for granted. This was the breeding ground for what I am presently embarking on.

What am I embarking on you ask? I’m glad you did! OPEN MIC NIGHTS!!! Whenever I watched Love Jones or Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Family Reunion, I would get so wrapped up in the open mic night scenes. I would wish I could do that. Or say it would be nice, but I was intimidated by the potential response always thinking the negative would outweigh the positive. I met a young lady about a year ago who is a poet. She asked me several times to perform at an event called First Fridays. I said I would think about it, declined a few times and finally I said yes. Unfortunately unforeseen issues such as scheduling conflicts and transportation issues caused me to cancel. The opportunity presented itself again, which I took as a sign that I needed to step out there and go for it. I mean I was curious, had only been to one open mic in Memphis, I wanted to do it but was scared so I bit the bullet and in April performed in my first open mic night at First Friday! Talk about a rush of emotions! There were nerves, excitement, and a sense of accomplishment, among other things and then I was well received. I recited a piece called Day 8 and it was one of my most vulnerable, yet creative pieces. Following First Friday a few months later I met someone who would totally open my eyes to the possibility of me doing more poetry out in public, in Memphis and not just in church. In his words, “performing is the easy part, writing is what’s difficult and you write well.” We are going to just see differently on that one. I am currently falling in love with poetry and all it brings all over again. I love seeing the different styles of poetry, spoken word, and the singers. The topics and content on which we all have to share is numerous. There is room for everyone; we just have to give it. I have performed three times and each time it’s more exciting, I am a little more relaxed. I still have the nerves, but the people are receiving what I have to say. The feedback I’ve gotten from a few people I am taking it. I wouldn’t call it ironic, but those same people; family included who didn’t want to hear what I had to say then, now have their ears open and give props where they are due. Dare I call that “poetic justice?!”

My confessions at the beginning of this blog are true. I have learned that acceptance from others will come when you accept yourself first. I accept my imperfections, my flaws, and know I won’t always be right and someone might not like what they hear. But I must continue to move past the uneasiness and the fear, because my purpose and my love of writing poetry and music are bigger than the fear of rejection and judgment. My perception of success has changed; therefore there’s nothing to be afraid of. If one person is helped by the words I write and speak, I am successful. Success has less to do with money and material things and more to do with intangible results.  I think as long as I keep God first, strive to be the best me I can be, and continue to perfect my craft my confessions won’t be a hindrance, but a springboard for greater things to come. No one is an island; we cannot go through life alone without any help or assistance. The things I write about are a testament to that. Life is about being on one accord, working together to lift each other up and not tear them down. It is my prayer that anyone who hears a poem or song I write will go away feeling and knowing that.

Simply Golden

Thank you for reading. Feel free to comment. Shout out to Urban Thoughts a great writer/blogger, and awesome poet and spoken word artist. You are appreciated. Check out his blog at www.urbanblackthoughts.blogspot.com

What's in a Unit?

A unit is considered as a single thing, person, or group that is a constituent of a whole. This definition leads me to believe that a unit has to be whole and together in order to function properly. Another way to look at unit is to break it up: U- N- IT. Basically saying ‘You In It.’ There are many forms that a unit takes. There is the family unit, church unit, friends unit, even a work unit. We must keep in mind that in order for these groups to be complete and work in the way they are set up to work, everyone involved have to be IN the group. There has to be an understanding of the group’s purpose. If it is a family unit, the parents, children, siblings should be present and included in all things relating to the family. The same can be said for the church, work and friend units. Each part of the unit has their part/position to play. If they are not receiving what they need, it can cause them to not be in position, not play the right role, which may cause a glitch in the unit; therefore taking the time to reevaluate the goal, purpose and components of the unit is important and essential to the unit continuing to run smoothly.

If there is a part of the unit that is not IN the unit be in not present, not operating correctly, slow to respond, neglecting its responsibility, then the unit is in danger of slowing down productivity or malfunctioning, thereby threatening a breakdown of the unit altogether. In order to avoid destroying the unit, we must do maintenance checks on our units. Maintenance checks allow us to see if something needs attending to, repaired, or replaced without an abrupt and drastic disruption of the unit flow. Some parts of the unit may need oil, tightening up, Freon, antifreeze, etc. I remember a couple of weeks ago my parents air conditioner went out and had been out for weeks. I was sitting at the house while the repair men fixed the unit. At one point they came to me and said they couldn’t fix the air after all because the company ordered the wrong size/number part. I was shocked because this was the second time this happened. My parents were hot in more ways than one! How the technician explained it, the part would fit perfectly, but to mix that number with the number that the unit uses would burn the entire unit out and my parents would need a new unit. There was a solution that allowed the air to be fixed that day and my parents didn’t have to suffer in the heat anymore.

This got me to thinking. There are people who are in our “unit” that look like us, that may fit in our unit, BUT have the wrong number. Their number does not match ours, but we feel we can’t let them go and force them in the unit, or refuse to let them go or replace them, which can burn us out and totally destroy the unit. There may be some who are close to our unit that we think will mesh well, but the numbers don’t match. This could be the way they speak, act, how they conduct business or simply their attitude. Things may work smoothly on the surface of the unit, but eventually the fact that the numbers (spirit, beliefs, like-mindedness, character, integrity, etc) are not the same; their infiltration will cause the overall unit to malfunction. Arguments, hostility, backbiting, not speaking, and selfishness are all possible outcomes of forcing a piece into your unit when it doesn’t belong. The technicians had to add a piece to the part that essentially would convert the wrong numbered part to the right number part and the air conditioner could work properly without the threat of it being destroyed. I was thankful because it was hot, like a sauna in the house and I was in there for 5-6 hours, but my parents had endured that heat for weeks. They were thankful too.  

Just as the technicians had to add a converter to the unit in order for it to work, we have that same option. When we relinquish what we want and surrender to God and the Holy Spirit, we too become a part of a unit and we not only fit, but belong IN it. We have the opportunity to fellowship with Christ and other believers. We recognize when something is off  because we work closely together and have gotten to know each person in our unit; and have the chance to talk to those people in our unit to encourage them, help them, pray for and with them and help them along the way. So look at whatever group(s), unit(s) you are a part of today, I ask are U- N- IT (YOU IN IT)?

Sacorsha

Water when I want more than my share

Dear God, thank you for all that you are, all that I am, and all that you created me to be. I appreciate your love, your unwavering support and innumerable chances to get things right. I confess that I am not where I need to be, but I’m thankful to you that I am not where I used to be. There are times when I get down and start to want what others have. There are situations when the questions “why, what, and how?” enter my mind. Help me to not doubt you Lord. Help me to stay in my lane and appreciate what you have blessed me to have. According to your word, whatever we bind on Earth will be bound in heaven and whatever we loose on Earth will be loosed in heaven. Therefore, I bind up the spirit of greed and loose the spirit of giving. Create in me a heart of giving when I see a need and when you instruct me too. If I have things in excess, allow me to share with those in need for this will help your kingdom grow and you will get the glory. Help me to not only share material and tangible things, but also allow me and show me how to share the intangible things, such as my time, my talents, my testimonies. I want to give you the glory in all that I do Lord. Keep me, guide me, and continue to bless me so I can be a blessing to others. I love you Father and I know that as long as I seek you 1^st all that you have for me I will have. It’s in the name of Jesus I pray AMEN!

 

WATER WHEN I’M BEING ATTACKED

Heavenly Father, I ask that you keep me covered when people do me wrong. I am your child, striving to do right by myself and others. In the midst of it all, the enemy continues to mistreat me, use and abuse me, even lie on me. Give me strength Lord to endure for your name sake. Satan, I bind up any and all attacks that you and your imps try to throw at me. According to the Holy book of Matthew, whatever you bind on Earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on Earth will be loosed in heaven. Your word says in Ephesians, to put on the whole armor of God. This armor will help me fight off my enemies. My loins are girded in your truth. I have on my breastplate of righteousness, my feet are shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; my head is covered with the helmet of truth. And my hand holds the shield of faith and the sword of the spirit. I am an overcomer! I am blessed! I loose peace in my mind, my life, on my job, and everywhere I go. Lord I ask that you help me to keep a word on my lips to speak to anyone that crosses my path, to those who talk about me, those who are envious, jealous, or just don’t know how to love. Give me an encouraging word to speak into someone’s life. I thank you that I am loved by you. I appreciate your grace and mercy. I’m grateful that you saw fit for me to live another day and granted me the opportunity to get it right. I know that as soon as I give it all to you everything is alright. You will water my soul with love, peace, happiness, joy, patience and strength to endure. I love you Lord. This prayer is in Jesus’ name AMEN.

 

A Glimpse of me

I don't know where to start, but I know where I am and where I've been. There have been many times that I've wondered and sometimes I still do wonder what is my real purpose? What is it that I am supposed to be doing in life? This is a valid question considering all that I've been through. It is often said we shouldn't wish we were in other people's shoes because we have no clue what they went through in their life and what they do to maintain their lives. It is my belief that there is a reason for the things we go through in life. The events that I am sharing are not an attempt at getting sympathy, but instead serves as a walk down memory lane, a reminder as to how blessed I am and how good God is. Many people are saved and strengthened by the words of your testimony so here's mine.

The battle for me began before I took my first breath. My mother contracted Rubella(German Measles) while carrying me and as a result I was affected. I came into the world silent, not even a cry when the doctor spanked me on my bottom. I was born was crossed-eyes, missing a knucle, and had extremely weak muscles among other things. The prognosis that was given to my mom was that I would be mildly retarded and would not be able to walk and would be underdeveloped. Our road ahead would be a rough one indeed... Well as faith and medical assistance would have it, I had surgery to fix my eyes, and my growth process was delayed, not denied as the dr suggested. Yes it took me 2 years to walk, yes I had special shoes to straighten my feet (they initially kinda resembled the flinstones, lol). Yes I had a wooden seat and not a regular carrier or chair to sit in because my muscles were so weak and yes I learned certain things backwards, such as making the bed, but I got it. My mom quit her job and poured her love and time into me to get me through the rough times. Through the powerful prayer of a faithful mother who was determined to beat the odds, I went to Les Passe Rehabilitation Center several times a week for many years, got humongous glasses, due to the eye surgery, wore those black and white buster browns ALL THE TIME to continue to correct my feet, and I kept progressing. I think I had a total of 6 or 7 surgeries before the age of 6. It seemed that I was out of the woods. I exceeded expectations and was ready to go to school.!! There were other obstacles that I faced, that came later.

Typing this has stirred up some serious emotions. Some of these life experiences came to me earlier and I cried. There are times I feel down, doubtful, unworthy and then I have to replay just how far God has brought me. I loved school even though it brought another level of issues and experiences,usually not good but through it all I survived. There was a period of time that the major appointments stopped and I just had to maintain my health. I have gone through being told I can't speak over a whisper or inside voice because I constantly had nojals(knots) removed off my vocal cords. YET I praise God with the LOUDEST voice possible. I mean really, I have so much to thank Him for, right? RIGHT! I have also overcome rheumatoid arthritis. Most of this occured before I even turned 25.  This is why I praise. This is why I love. This is why I give. Because the Lord gave to me. He gave me chance after chance, blessing after blessing. He is so good I can't tell it all. I share a piece of my story because there is always hope. There is a flipside to every story. We have to keep moving forward and try to see the testimony in your test. Seek to see the positive when the negative is screaming at you.

Even through all of my doubts, shyness, insecurities, I smile, I laugh, I sing, I love and I definitely shout and praise the Lord whether it's through song, music, writing, or by sharing my testimony. I am nowhere where I used to be. I have made improvements and know I can be better. I'm grateful for everthing I have been through. These experiences have helped shape me into who I am today. I may not be fully sure what I am supposed to be doing for the rest of my life. In my quest to discover it, I am easing my way out of pleasing people and wondering what they think of me and caring about what they say in response to my actions.  But I know I am blessed. I am confident that there is a plan designed just for me, by God. God's hands have been on me since day one. He is my constant even when I am not His. Life can get so heavy it makes the positive things hard to see. I guess this is why I was led to share a glimpse of me.

Sacorsha :)

NUGGETS

It's been a while since I made a post. There are many things going on and experiences being lived. I want to drop a couple of nuggets on your mind and into your spirit. As we go through life sometimes we get sidetracked, change focus, or get so busy doing "stuff" that we forget what the original purpose was all about. In my journey, I have done this and was given good advice on how to cope. Some other things have come to me at the most randomness of times.(Yes "randomness" is now a word). :) Some of these may sound familiar, others may not. HA! Then again you may have heard them all. Something I learned is you're always learning and many things are refreshers for us in life. Okay here we go:

1. Change is good and necessary.

It may be awkward and strange at first, but if you keep moving forward you will be a better person for it. Change will hurt. (Yea, but who likes to hurt? NO ONE). Do you remember Betty Wright's "no pain, no gain"? It's true. We can't walk around wearing size 6 shoes just because they are comfortable, when our feet have grown and we need a 7.

When we refuse to change, we are bound to endure unnecessary pain, bruises, circumstances, etc. And yes we can do things to cover it up, but the PAIN is STILL there. So instead of bucking against the changes ocurring in your life EMBRACE it.

2. Dont go thru life like u have the 'itchy butt syndrome,' the faster u

move to fix the problem the worse it gets. Instead TAKE YA TIME. 

In situations where things are hectic, it's raining, storming and some more, we can get anxious, panicky, to the point we just start moving. There are no thoughts, plans, rationalizations, nothing, nada, zelch. It's in these times we gotta slow down, be still, think and listen to God. Sometimes we're moving so fast we don't and can't see. It gets blurry. We overlook things, people, events, etc. We see things that aren't there. We have to prioritize and realize that everything on the "to-do-list" may not get done. What you can do, do it, but don't rush just to get to the next item just to say it's done.

3. The grasss isn't always greener on the other side; it could be spray painted dirt. 

Alicia Keys says a real man will know a woman's worth. I agree. I also think women, will know a man's worth. People in general when they pay attention will know their own worth and others. People get caught up in being "with" someone, or keeping up with Larry, Curly and Moe that they don't realize or forget what they have.

Wanting better for you is GREAT! We should strive to know better and be better. The problem comes when you are making moves, wanting to do better for someone's approval, claim to invalid fame, or to say you did better than someone else. Competition can be TOXIC!

If you can't afford the new car, house, and uberly expensive clothes don't buy it. If any possession will prevent you from taking care of the NECESSITIES in life (food, shelter, clothing, kids) LEAVE IT ALONE. Think about these things if you are feeling that some outside person is/looks/may be better than who you are with: Why are you with your mate/spouse? What attracted you to him/her in the 1st place? How does he/she treat you, make you feel? Keep in mind we never know what people have gone thru to get what and who they are with. Nor do we have an inkling of an idea WHAT they have to do to maintain it. This goes for possessions and mates. What looks good isn't always good. You could have someone that cooks and cleans for you, loves you both physically and verbally, but doesn't listen to your liking. Then there is this other creature who listens, but is abusive. Greener grass?? I THINK NOT.

Let's find a way to cherish and appreciate what we have. And as we are on the road to a BETTER life, keep the goals, motives and purpose in mind.

This is the last nugget for now

4. Letting go makes you wealthier

 Wealth is never measured by what you have, but by what you can give away. You are rich with money when you can afford to donate. You are rich with love when you can give love freely. You are rich with God when you can behold your enemy with compassion. Have you ever paid attention to how you felt when you gave someone a gift, or you saw their reaction? IT'S PRICELESS!! Giving is one of THE BEST feelings you can have and things you can do. It doesn't take a lot. TIME: Some of my best moments happen when Im simply hanging out with loved ones. TALENT share your love of music, poetry, song, listening whatever it is, give a part of you to others. They will appreciate it and so will you.
Something I love about giving is it comes back. It's like a cycle, never ending, it looks good and feels good too! :) So in the spirit of "paying it forward," return the favor to someone else. If someone does something nice for you, do something nice for someone, if's it's giving, listening, whatever, share that same gift with someone else and see how that makes you feel.
From me to you here's a smile, I am cheesing like a chesscat at you :-D The next step is yours! Until next time,

Be a blessing and be blessed,
Simply Golden

Happy New Year!! Welcome Better You!

We have entered into 2011, a new year. Many people take this time to embark on resolutions, some are the same as last year and others are new. I propose we take this time and this year to become a better you. If there is something that you have wanted to do, do it. Whatever you need take the proper steps and JUST DO IT!!  This is the time to become whole within ourselves. I look forward to growing and improving as a person and I want to be in agreement with you concerning your goals.

It is always a good feeling to be a blessing to others. Our “neighbors” are anyone we see in need. Do you remember the movie “Pay it Forward?”

 This movie involved the basic concept that we all should follow. See a need, help, and in return they do the same to someone else and God gets the glory! I wonder what 2011 would be like if we went back to paying it forward/ being a blessing to others? Can we try? The secret that I found out when doing this is the one who is doing the blessing gets more out of it. They are blessed by God to continue the cycle. It feels good to do for others!

My prayer for you is that in this New Year you grow as a person, personally, professionally, financially, emotionally and most of all spiritually. I hope that your relationship with God increases. And all of your goals, dreams, and aspirations are accomplished. I look forward to us having fun, more laughter, more love, and more living in 2011!

Happy New Year

 Simply Golden :-)