I don't know where to start, but I know where I am and where I've been. There have been many times that I've wondered and sometimes I still do wonder what is my real purpose? What is it that I am supposed to be doing in life? This is a valid question considering all that I've been through. It is often said we shouldn't wish we were in other people's shoes because we have no clue what they went through in their life and what they do to maintain their lives. It is my belief that there is a reason for the things we go through in life. The events that I am sharing are not an attempt at getting sympathy, but instead serves as a walk down memory lane, a reminder as to how blessed I am and how good God is. Many people are saved and strengthened by the words of your testimony so here's mine.
The battle for me began before I took my first breath. My mother contracted Rubella(German Measles) while carrying me and as a result I was affected. I came into the world silent, not even a cry when the doctor spanked me on my bottom. I was born was crossed-eyes, missing a knucle, and had extremely weak muscles among other things. The prognosis that was given to my mom was that I would be mildly retarded and would not be able to walk and would be underdeveloped. Our road ahead would be a rough one indeed... Well as faith and medical assistance would have it, I had surgery to fix my eyes, and my growth process was delayed, not denied as the dr suggested. Yes it took me 2 years to walk, yes I had special shoes to straighten my feet (they initially kinda resembled the flinstones, lol). Yes I had a wooden seat and not a regular carrier or chair to sit in because my muscles were so weak and yes I learned certain things backwards, such as making the bed, but I got it. My mom quit her job and poured her love and time into me to get me through the rough times. Through the powerful prayer of a faithful mother who was determined to beat the odds, I went to Les Passe Rehabilitation Center several times a week for many years, got humongous glasses, due to the eye surgery, wore those black and white buster browns ALL THE TIME to continue to correct my feet, and I kept progressing. I think I had a total of 6 or 7 surgeries before the age of 6. It seemed that I was out of the woods. I exceeded expectations and was ready to go to school.!! There were other obstacles that I faced, that came later.
Typing this has stirred up some serious emotions. Some of these life experiences came to me earlier and I cried. There are times I feel down, doubtful, unworthy and then I have to replay just how far God has brought me. I loved school even though it brought another level of issues and experiences,usually not good but through it all I survived. There was a period of time that the major appointments stopped and I just had to maintain my health. I have gone through being told I can't speak over a whisper or inside voice because I constantly had nojals(knots) removed off my vocal cords. YET I praise God with the LOUDEST voice possible. I mean really, I have so much to thank Him for, right? RIGHT! I have also overcome rheumatoid arthritis. Most of this occured before I even turned 25. This is why I praise. This is why I love. This is why I give. Because the Lord gave to me. He gave me chance after chance, blessing after blessing. He is so good I can't tell it all. I share a piece of my story because there is always hope. There is a flipside to every story. We have to keep moving forward and try to see the testimony in your test. Seek to see the positive when the negative is screaming at you.
Even through all of my doubts, shyness, insecurities, I smile, I laugh, I sing, I love and I definitely shout and praise the Lord whether it's through song, music, writing, or by sharing my testimony. I am nowhere where I used to be. I have made improvements and know I can be better. I'm grateful for everthing I have been through. These experiences have helped shape me into who I am today. I may not be fully sure what I am supposed to be doing for the rest of my life. In my quest to discover it, I am easing my way out of pleasing people and wondering what they think of me and caring about what they say in response to my actions. But I know I am blessed. I am confident that there is a plan designed just for me, by God. God's hands have been on me since day one. He is my constant even when I am not His. Life can get so heavy it makes the positive things hard to see. I guess this is why I was led to share a glimpse of me.
Sacorsha :)
